As you may now know my mantra is basically that it gets better. I live my life with that belief and that is how I tend to survive periods where my mental health suffers (like it did over Christmas). When I say this, it may seem that I am saying your happiness can only be found in the future. This is not the point I am making.
On Thursday I was in a car feeling very poorly. My throat infection had left one side of my throat to settle on the other. I was having mild hallucinations, I was paranoid, I felt really rather poorly. This was not a moment you would think I could find joy in. However, I could because I knew I was seeing good friends that night (it gets better) and because Hold On by Wilson Pickett was playing on the car stereo (enjoying the moment) and as I croakily sang along I felt completely happy in the moment.
Even when my depression is all-consuming there are good moments. Good moments are not to be dismissed because it gets better, they are to be enjoyed while they exist. It will get better but that doesn’t mean now is not the best it can be. Right now I am writing this blog, eating pizza and listening to Lovefool by The Cardigans. I genuinely could not think of anything I would rather be doing at this moment. I know!
Would I prefer to not be in some debt? Would I prefer to know where I was going to live in three months? Of course! I am working on both those problems, but right now I am doing what is best for me and that feels pretty good. But I also know that in three months time I will know where I live and will be in less debt too because it gets better. It gets better. You can live in the moment but if you can’t it gets better.